Friday, May 7, 2021

Reflections on 1996

 April and May are tough months for most of us. One whiff of lilacs takes me straight back to Mary Jane's worst days. It's been 25 years of a world without her. That's an entire generation. Maybe long enough to forget the pain, the confusion, the hopeful updates and the devastating truths.....but no....not yet.

Mary Jane's illness and death rocked our nuclear family to its core and is the most impactful event in its history. It continues to reverberate.  There's a sharp line dividing the before and the after. During her illness, my trust and faith in science and medicine grew at the same pace my loss of faith deepened. It remains so.

25 years in a world without Mary Jane isn't quite the case though. She lives on in her girls, in her grandchildren and in her siblings. When I find joy in some simple detail, I like to think it's because Mary Jane's outlook taught me to take that time. I didn't get to hang out with her as much as some of you did so you knew her differently. I thoroughly enjoyed her adult self especially after she returned to New York. She lived a big life in a short time. She also lives on in our hearts and memories. I see her influence in the girls still today. I cherish the time we had together especially during her illness and I know it affects my life today.

We have a great deal to celebrate on Mother's Day in 2021 and I hope the joy that we all take in the next generation helps heal the "before" and "after" divide just a teeny bit. I suspect she might kick our asses if she knew we got sentimental every April and May. Let's just try to smile and laugh and love on Mother's Day this year. Cheers, Mary Jane! Thank you for all you have taught us and keep teaching us!