Reflections on 1996

 April and May are tough months for most of us. One whiff of lilacs takes me straight back to Mary Jane's worst days. It's been 25 years of a world without her. That's an entire generation. Maybe long enough to forget the pain, the confusion, the hopeful updates and the devastating truths.....but no....not yet.

Mary Jane's illness and death rocked our nuclear family to its core and is the most impactful event in its history. It continues to reverberate.  There's a sharp line dividing the before and the after. During her illness, my trust and faith in science and medicine grew at the same pace my loss of faith deepened. It remains so.

25 years in a world without Mary Jane isn't quite the case though. She lives on in her girls, in her grandchildren and in her siblings. When I find joy in some simple detail, I like to think it's because Mary Jane's outlook taught me to take that time. I didn't get to hang out with her as much as some of you did so you knew her differently. I thoroughly enjoyed her adult self especially after she returned to New York. She lived a big life in a short time. She also lives on in our hearts and memories. I see her influence in the girls still today. I cherish the time we had together especially during her illness and I know it affects my life today.

We have a great deal to celebrate on Mother's Day in 2021 and I hope the joy that we all take in the next generation helps heal the "before" and "after" divide just a teeny bit. I suspect she might kick our asses if she knew we got sentimental every April and May. Let's just try to smile and laugh and love on Mother's Day this year. Cheers, Mary Jane! Thank you for all you have taught us and keep teaching us!

 

Gloucester Hero John Handran Gets International Attention

I've told John Handran's story in previous posts ( https://gatheringthecousins.blogspot.com/2014/04/john-handran-1852-1885-medal-of-honor.html) but briefly, he was awarded the U.S. Medal of Honor by President Ulysses S. Grant in 1876 for rescuing a fellow Navy seaman from drowning. This honor hasn't previously received much recognition, perhaps partly because John died in the sinking of the Schooner Cleopatra just 9 years later.

About 5 years ago, I was contacted by the Medal of Honor Historical Society of the United States requesting "smoking gun" evidence that the John Handran in our family tree is the SAME John Handran that was awarded the Medal on Honor. I realized that, despite the excellently researched Handran family tree information provided by George Handran, I did not have adequate "smoking gun" evidence to prove this. A long search began. I was assisted by a Canadian group which specializes in Canadians (John was born in Newfoundland) who were awarded the US Medal of Honor.

In 2017, I found that evidence on the front page of the Cape Ann Advertiser Jan 1885 which I was able to review (the actual newspaper 130+ years old) at the Cape Ann Museum Library and Archives. This evidence satisfied the Medal of Honor Historical Society of the United States and they set about arranging for an "In Memory Of" memorial plaque to be laid at the sight of his wife Sarah's grave at Calvary Cemetery in Gloucester. Getting cemetery and military approval was no easy task but the plaque was laid in late winter this year and a ceremony was being planned. Then the virus stopped everyone's plans.

I told this story here on the blog, as well as on the Good Morning Gloucester blog ( https://goodmorninggloucester.com/2017/12/22/a-noble-record/). These blog posts are what brought John Handran's story to the attention of the Medal of Honor Historical Society of the United States. I told the story to well known genealogist and podcaster Lisa Louise Cooke who decided it warranted a segment on her Genealogy Gems Premium Podcast #183. I was delighted to share John's story as well as the steps taken to get some deserved recognition to him and to his family. You can listen to my interview here: https://lisalouisecooke.com/2020/06/01/new-view/

Genealogy Gems Premium is a paid subscription service (which I highly recommend for only $49.95/year) with a wide international following, but Lisa Louise has agreed to share a free version for you all to enjoy.  It's time for John to get the recognition he and his family deserve for his heroism and service to country.

Everything Will Take Care of Itself

I've been thinking a great deal about our grandfather Francis P. Flynn, who was universally known as "Weenie" long before such a nickname would create sniggers. Our current President indicated he had no idea how to compare the upcoming death rates in American history: "I don't know, World War II maybe?" and I wanted to scream "Does 1918 ring a bell?" 

The flu pandemic of 1918-19 resulted in more than 600,000 (six HUNDRED THOUSAND) deaths in the United States. Last estimate I heard for our current COVID-19 pandemic is an estimate of as many as 200,000 deaths. When numbers get that high, comparisons between 200,000 and 600,000 tend to lose meaning because we can't wrap our heads around losing so many lives. But Americans have suffered extreme death rates and the flu pandemic has a number of parallels to today's crisis.

Our grandfather was born in 1906, and therefore around 12 years old during most of the 1918 flu. One younger brother, Dinty, was only a toddler and therefore in an at-risk population. Also at risk were his parents, especially his mother Barbara who was in her mid 30s. This pandemic struck mostly younger adults and was vicious, however, the Flynn family escaped the worst of it. Barbara had some nursing training so perhaps that was a factor, but I am sure it was a time of high alert and cautious measures.

I expect a 12 year old was very conscious of what was going on around him in the small city of Olean NY and I also imagine this crisis impacted his views on life. He always used to say "Everything will take care of itself.".   I wonder where this phrase originated for him. As a mom, I like to imagine it was passed down by his mother but it seemed so like him that I was sure it was a motto he designed for himself.

Many times throughout my life, this phrase brought comfort. It remains so today.  Our at risk groups today are very different so I am especially thinking about my older friends and family as well as those with compromised health conditions. I'm not sure what life will look like on the other side of COVID-19, but I do believe that, in time, "everything will take care of itself." God Bless you, Weenie. Love you and miss you always.

Giuseppe Joseph Disabato War Hero 1920-1943

Giuseppe Joseph Disabato was just one of the many thousands of military personnel we are honoring this Memorial Day weekend. Killed in action at the age of only 22, his actions were rewarded with a Silver Star and Purple Heart. His young age at death is only one of the many heartbreaking facts of this short life. His father died when Joseph was a toddler and his mother Marguerite Innocencia Coffarelli never remarried. She had 9 children before her husband died the year the youngest was born. Single motherhood in the 1920s and 30s must have been brutal.

As you might notice, his mother received very little information regarding his death and two other sons were eager to go into battle to honor their brother. In fact, as this article states, "Don't worry" was the general military message back home to the survivors. I'd like to believe things have changed by now, but perhaps not.

And in a final blow, his body (and more than 2700 others) wasn't brought home until almost 5 years later. I am sure that renewed the pain for the entire family. This reflects just one experience among the many thousand others over the years of active military service to the United States. It will do us well to remember and honor them always.

New Aunts and Uncles for the Flynn kids

I am pretty sure this is a picture of Barbara Lippman Flynn and her sister Anna Lippman Denning. I have recently received some information about their family straight from Munich Germany and I am happy to announce that the Flynn kids have new aunts and uncles! Barbara and Anna had siblings!!!

It appears their father Thomas was a flour dealer in Munich and lived with his wife Ernestine (maiden name Worle) in the same vicinity of the city of Munich for a number of years. This Catholic family apparently included a number of older siblings, most of whom had "Ernestine" as part of their names: Franziska Ernestine, Konstantine Ernestine (1878-1958); Anna Erestine Babette (born 1880 presumably died as infant); Ernestine Josefa (1881-1896); Barbara (born 1883 and presumable died before our Barbara was born); Barbara Ernestine (ours); and Anna (also known to us).

I am asking my German researcher to continue the search on this family so stay tuned for any further developments.  It only took somewhere near 20 years to  get this far with them, so don't hold your breath!

Flynn Family Update

This re-post is in honor of the fact that I've met a new cousin (second cousin technically), Erin, granddaughter of John Flynn (4-5 to us) and his wife Margaret (Fat Aunt Marg as we knew her thanks to our grandfather).  Perhaps she will enjoy this and share it with others.

We took a trip to Boston with our children and niece Jessica in April 1995. I can't remember if Jessica's sisters were with us, but I remember specifically that our entire ride out there was dominated by the radio broadcast updates on the Oklahoma City bombing.  Upon hindsight, we probably shouldn't have had the kids listening to all these stories but you couldn't help yourself.  It was a little bit scary as there was quite a bit doom and gloom speculation as to larger forces at work in this act of terrorism. And we had no idea what terrors were lurking in the future......

One of the stops we made was to visit with Patty Flynn Donohue and her sister Sharon Flynn.  They had never met any of you so it was kind of cool to introduce them to you guys in person.

Patty and Sharon are Weenie's nieces.  Weenie had two brothers:  Charles (Dinty) and John (whom we called Four Five).  Patty and Sharon are Four Five's daughters.  I don't ever remember meeting Dinty but I do remember going over to Four Five's house--a particular treat was to play with the poker chips in their holder.  Poker is apparently how Four Five got his nickname.  One of us ( I think it might have been me) counted out cards emphasizing FOUR FIVE between three and six.  Then he was Four Five.

Weenie called his wife "Fat Aunt Marg".  Though I didn't realize it at the time, she was anything but "Fat" and I'm sure that's how she earned her nickname.  Classic Weenie.  I also think we were the only ones to ever call her that.  I remember a little bit about these girls.  They were older than us and rarely around when we were there but always present in the catching-up phase of the visit.

This is Chris and Uncle Four Five in their yard in Olean.  Those Flynn men were pretty handsome all around.

I think this is the Flynn family in Olean. The young child is probably my mother Anne Flynn. Her parents, Francis "Weenie" Flynn and Paula Nevins Flynn are pictured next to her. The woman behind her is Barbara Lippman Flynn, the Flynn matriarch. Behind her is her sister Anna (can't deny they are sisters!).  I believe the other men are John (Four Five) and Charles (Dinty). 

Pretty odd about the nicknames, don't you think?  One thing I think about a great deal is how we all called our grandfather Weenie--just like EVERYBODY else.  The entire city called him the same thing we did--a little bit different than most grandfathers (and great-grandfathers--which he was indeed!)

So we can bring this right back around to Jess! Francis and Paula Flynn godparents to Jessica.

August 1994

I thought it would be fun to dive back into the photo albums again and see what was going on 24 years ago this month.  Turns out there was quite a bit going on that month!

It was the summer that we got our new pole barn built after the old one caved in under heavy snow in a previous winter.  The clearing of the land for this new barn (we have always called it the bus garage since it was home to the marching band bus) created a large pile of debris which the fire company burned for us in spectacular fashion.  This is Amy and Brad watching that fire:

This is one of my all time favorite pictures and memories. 

The Hartman clan came for a visit that year!

Baseball Hall of Fame

Of course, we went to a Binghamton Mets game.  This is Jeff Barry with Amy and Brad.

I think this might be at Jean's for Mallory's birthday--Drew, Marisa and Amy.  Looks like Drew is showing Marisa the clutch.

Ryan having a catch with your Dad.

Your Dad playing volleyball in someone's back yard.

Sometime that summer, Angela hosted a reunion..what a crew!

James and I went to Chicago that summer and we took Amy and Ryan to stay on Long Island.

I think this is Pat's picture from that visit!

Good ole Harry the famed cat was still around.  We went to Sesame Place where James danced on stage with Burt and Ernie.  It's pretty tough when even Ernie is laughing at you.

 We even found time for a trip to the Syracuse Zoo.  Who knew then what the future held for this pensive little girl?

I guess we kept ourselves pretty busy but when the kids are young, you try to do all kinds of stuff.  It's pretty close to where Jake and Lindsay, Danielle and Ron, Lindsay and Jesse, Brad and Cheryl, and Brian are right now with the upcoming generation. The more things change, the more they stay the same.